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September 07, 2007

Will Ruthie stand WAC? up?

Ruthie, British blawger and femme fatale, is missing in America. For the handful of readers--English men, guys who like show tunes, bored housewives, etc.--who have followed the Ruthie-WAC? anticipated friends-with-benefits Transatlantic coupling, here's some news:

Earlier this week, Ruthie, who has been in the U.S. since September 1, called and agreed to meet my boss at a half-way point. After an hour's negotiation, they chose the familiar "Marriott, Salt Lake City City Center", Salt Lake City, Utah--a hotel WAC? once said is "freaking

Twilight Zone-strange, my friend, and please quote me"--and to finally meet in the lobby at 6:00 PM (Rocky Mountain Time) last night.

But Ruthie has yet to appear. Has she stiffed WAC? in retaliation for past posts re: her alleged world-class promiscuity? Is she OK? Did she just meet a genuinely nice and well-meaning "non-Jack" Mormon guy who reminded her of Brit men? Or did she just realize that getting involved with WAC?, a leading American heterosexual, entailed biting off, as it were, more than she can really chew?

Meanwhile, WAC?, fresh from a productive Labor Day Renaissance Weekend in California, in good spirits, and "randy enough to swive a snake in an Oklahoma sandstorm", got to the Salt Lake Marriott early yesterday.

As of this morning (Friday), Ruthie is still missing. But not to worry. WAC? is just fine.

While waiting for her, WAC?, who has a "3-day limit for anything to do with Utah", has amused himself by flirting with and/or taking liberties with the hotel help, mainly the reception desk staff girls, when they get off work.

"For a Marriott, it's odd that all these women are from Utah", WAC? said last night. "No European, Asian or or Latin American countries on the nameplates. Bummer."

"But these home-grown Utah girls have their advantages", WAC? remarked, "and Utah is like a foreign country anyway."

"For one thing, no matter what I say or do, they--three employees so far--are 100% agreeable to everything and anything, despite their presumably cultural-religious scruples", WAC? continued.

"And I mean anything--it's like I'm conducting a controlled multi-cultural experiment", he said.

WAC? explained:

"They remind me greatly of my Uncle Seamus, in Cork, Ireland, just before he took 'the cure'. He would sweetly smile, giggle, and nod his head up and down like a very old mental patient no matter what you said to him. He was only 30--but he had that far-away look."

"With the hotel help here, it's the same deal as with Seamus, but way, way scarier at first. Unlike my Uncle, none of these women are on the sauce, or even drink coffee...or so they say. You have to get used to it."

"So I will re-evaluate Utah and its people."

Posted by Holden Oliver (Kitzb├╝hel Desk) at September 7, 2007 07:37 PM


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