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December 12, 2008
Redux: Emailed "thank-you" notes are low and tacky; if you mean it, handwrite it.
A good thank-you--a real thank-you--means something. It is notable, memorable, important.--Tom Chiarella, A Little Gratitude, Esquire Magazine, April 2007
In case your mother never told you, you're from the boonies, or you were stoned all five years at Andover, let us remind you to never thank anyone for something truly important--a meeting, referral or a dinner--with anything but a prompt handwritten thank you note.
Good stationery. We suggest Crane's or something better. And no excuses for not doing it; many, many business people and some lawyers with taste think that no written (typed is okay--but handwritten is better) thank you note means no class, as harsh and low-tech as that may sound. Even if you are not convinced that thank you notes are noticed and appreciated (they are), pretend that WAC? knows more than you and do it anyway.
However, "electronic thank-yous" by e-mails or in comments for links or mentions in posts or articles on the Internet--let's say 3 different people link to your blog every day and you are working full time--are okay. And you'll always miss a few who mention you in cyberspace.
Inspiration, 1769, Jean-Honoré Fragonard
But if you don't regularly thank people at all for links to or mentions of you, your blog or website, you are fouling your own nest. Not thanking people in the blogosphere is not just low and tacky but (1) arrogant and (2) dumb. And adds to the notion that (3) bloggers are insular, passive-aggressive weenies and geeks lacking in people skills.
So get some habits about thank-yous, and make handwritten the default position. If you don't, bad things will happen. No one will give you any more business, or invite you to New Canaan or Aldeburgh for the weekend. People will say mean things about your dog. And, even worse, about you:
If you went to Brown, snide people will remind you and your friends that Brown used to be the safety school for the Ivies.
If you were at Duke, they'll re-float the completely untrue story that Duke exists only because Princeton had too much honor and class to accept Buck Duke's filthy tobacco money and re-name Princeton Duke.
If Princeton, they'll just say you were always kind of light in the Cole Haans, too, so what can you expect.
You see what can happen?
So thank people in writing. Handwritten as a general rule. Do it by e-mail only for a cyber-mention.
Finally, if your site is so successful that your links, e-mails and comments are through the roof, hire someone else to do the thank yous--written or electronic--for you.
Posted by Holden Oliver at December 12, 2008 11:59 PM
Comments
I referred two patent matters to a lawyer in one week and never got any sort of thank you. This was about five years ago and I still joyfully keep track of how many patent matters I have referred to others since then.
Posted by: Dan Harris at December 12, 2008 02:27 AM
Man, you and Dan Hull have GOT to be related in the same Sicilian way. He does the same thing--and loves to mention the names of the offenders to anyone who will listen. It's like an APB: "Don't refer work to these people. Ever. And--please gather round, folks--let me tell you exactly why...."
Posted by: Holden Oliver at December 12, 2008 02:44 AM