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May 08, 2009

E-mailed thank-you notes are tacky and low; if you mean it, handwrite it.

A good thank-you--a real thank-you--means something. It is notable, memorable, important.

--Tom Chiarella, A Little Gratitude, Esquire Magazine, April 2007

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Inspiration, 1769, Jean-Honoré Fragonard

In case your mother never told you, you're from the boonies, or you were stoned all six years at Choate, let us remind you to never thank anyone for something truly important--a meeting, referral or a dinner--with anything but a prompt handwritten thank you note.

No valid excuses exist for not doing it; many, many business people and some lawyers with taste think that no written (typed is okay--but handwritten is better) thank you note means no class, as harsh and low-tech as that may sound. Even if you are not convinced that thank you notes are noticed and appreciated (they are), pretend that WAC? knows more than you and do it anyway. Good stationery. We suggest Crane's or something better.

However, "electronic thank-yous" by e-mails or in comments for links or mentions in posts or articles on the Internet--let's say 3 different people link to your blog every day and you are working full time--are okay. Blogging about you or your ideas is nice--but it's not like they had you up to Newport for the weekend. Besides, you'll always miss a few kudos--or insults--thrown at you in the digital ether.

Do note that if you are dissed or insulted in cyberspace, respond tersely with a rough equivalent of what WAC? does on the walk back from the judge's bench in court, after a somewhat nasty exchange in which he prevailed, when only his opponent can hear him:

"Wendell, dude, if I were you, or someone like you, I would not like me either. This trial must be a goddamn nightmare for you."

Anyway, if you don't regularly thank people for links or mentions of you or your firm's blog or website, you are fouling your own nest. Not thanking people in the blogosphere is (1) arrogant and (2) dumb. It adds to the notion that (3) bloggers are insular, passive-aggressive lightweights lacking in people skills.

So get some habits about thank-yous, and make handwritten the default position. If you don't, bad things will happen. No one will give you any more business, or invite you to Aldeburgh again. People will say mean things about your dog, your wife, your girlfriend, or about all three. Worse, they trash you.

If you went to Brown, snide people will remind you and your friends that Brown used to be the safety school for the Ivies. If you were at Duke, they'll re-float the completely untrue story that Duke exists only because Princeton had too much honor and class to accept Buck Duke's filthy tobacco money and re-name Princeton Duke. If Princeton, they'll just say you were always kind of light in the Cole Haans, too, so what can you expect?

You get the idea. So thank people in writing. Handwritten as a general rule. E-mail only for a cyber-mention.

Finally, if your site is so successful that your links, e-mails and comments are through the roof, hire someone else to do the thank yous--written or electronic--for you.

Posted by Holden Oliver at May 8, 2009 11:59 PM

Comments

I have found pretty interest way to send a thank you note to your clients. Check out recent post in my blog.

Posted by: Philip at May 24, 2009 01:40 PM

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