July 08, 2009
Tea, sympathy, and a grooming tip for "Club Ned" members.
Honey, just wear a black turtleneck. Even Ned Beatty looks good in a black turtleneck.
--Overheard last year in Brentwood
Ned in repose, planning Georgia fishing trip with buddies.
Just like a hog, eh? We are receiving many strong if not terribly classy "anonymous comments"--not to be published until we receive court records, affidavits and confidential photos--in nameless response to our strong but classy anti-anonymity piece earlier this week: "Play Time" on the Internet is Over. Wanted: A Few Good Rules". Apparently, there are way more people, presumably male lawyers, and many fire-breathing Above The Law regulars, than we had thought who unfortunately once received Ned's brutal and unsavory treatment in the woods that is the key prerequisite for Club Ned status. We think only about .05% of the population qualify. But that could still be a lot of victims.
The legacy of a bad weekend in Aintry. Our sympathies. Having to think about that kind of personal violation--or something similar--must make for a very damn tough train or car commute every day from New Canaan or Chevy Chase to work. The partners can't know. Your staff can't know. Your friends can't know. It's lonely, we are sure, even though we don't feel your pain. So we will be offering survival tips for you guys, as anonymity on The Net becomes a narrow and pitied exception to fair participation--and you painfully gather all those unspeakable files and send them to us so we can certify your CN membership.
Here's one. Club Ned of course is based on "Bobby" played by the great character actor Ned Beatty in Deliverance. If you are in Club Ned, you are by definition a victim of something horrible. And frankly you also may be a little hard on the eyes, anyway, at least by this point, if you catch our meaning, and get our drift. Sure, CN members are often physically unattractive. So here's a grooming tip, and two words: black turtleneck. It hides more of the bruises, too.
Posted by Rob Bodine at July 8, 2009 12:00 AM