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July 13, 2010

UPDATED: Teletubbie Alert (Orange Level): Law schools must now teach you how to be "a person"?

20070328teletubbies.jpg
Above: Headed for law school? Hopefully not--but run one over if you see one just in case. Speed up a bit.

To us, the suggested cure--that law schools do for people what people down through history have generally done for themselves (i.e., become full-fledged human beings)--seems way worse than the disease(s).

Get the net? Our head writer told me--at first--to "trash this blog post thoroughly, lovingly and like you mean it". And then said, on second thought, to go easy since the blogger is a "King-Hell Straight-Up Total Betty". So his hypocrisy knows no bounds.

We will bite our tongue, then. We will hold back.

But do see the well-written and sincere but perplexing "Will Law Schools Help Build a Healthier Profession?" at the otherwise sane Law People. So studies find that "within six months of entering law school, students experience significant decreases in well-being and life satisfaction, and substantial increases in depression, negative affect and physical symptoms." So, some voices cry out, the law schools should address this terrible and pressing problem.

Wait. Didn't we sign up for that risk? The often difficult externalities of professional school and learning how to be a lawyer? Comes with the territory, right? We knew law school and the profession would be stressful.

Isn't it a cliché--but a true one--that growing up is a hard and often painful process?

And now law schools should do something about it? To us, the suggested cure--that law schools do for people what people down through history have generally done for themselves--seems way worse than the disease(s).

"Lames, Looters and Tea Cups" are bad for clients. Law schools these days have enough problems producing grads who (a) are marginally useful within two years of being hired and (b) can get through the day without falling apart because they have come face-to-face with a real life client problem that fits no molds.

Turning law school into a rehab for people without life skills is going to make that problem worse--and put clients at even greater risk than they currently face at the hands of "Teletubbie" young lawyers.

Helping law students be real people so they can be happy as real lawyers? It all sounds "nice", though--especially if you are independently wealthy, you have never practiced law longer than 18 months, or you yourself are a victim of too much recreational mescaline during the 1960s.

Look, law people, we always thought that becoming a lawyer or a person was an "inside job". We seriously doubt that Law turns people to booze, drugs, nitrous oxide, ether, glue, Twinkies, or mental illness any more or faster than the same people would ingest or suffer in different or less taxing professions. A lot of that "hay is in the barn" when you get hatched (i.e., at birth). Some call it DNA, genes and family "patterns". Entire books by shrinks, regular physicians and scientists cover it.*

How about this? Law schools will work on recruiting somewhat tougher people who would make good lawyers and actually like, handle and even "use"--rather than fold under--the "pressure" that is likely to still accompany much great legal work for clients in the future? And then make them into the best lawyers they can make them into in three (3) semesters rather than six (6)? Or is that too insensitive, old school, and cost-efficient?

*Wait. Can law school teach our associates which fork to use, about the correct colognes, and how to decant the good port when visiting the Pilkingtons in Pointe aux Barques? Now you're talking.

Posted by Holden Oliver (Kitzbühel Desk) at July 13, 2010 11:59 PM

Comments

Interesting. Ok you need to be bright to be a lawyer, but that's not all - you also need to be tough, independent and have the ability to solve problems that you have never previously experienced fast. Many of the best lawyers I know are not academically the brightest but they are the wiliest. And many of them come from tough backgrounds. If you've already had to solve many problems yourself even to get into law school - finance, accommodation, how to blag your way in chances are your problem solving skills are already highly developed, and having gone to the trouble of solving all those problems you are going to be highly motivated to pass.

These days however the bar to access law school is being placed so high that even the highly motivated struggle to get in. As a consequence law schools are turning out very clever people who are incapable of dealing with their own professional problems - let alone managing the professional problems of staff.

Posted by: Ruthie Barber at July 13, 2010 01:30 PM

I think the point of the post is that law school should be hard. So should lawyering. People who don't have enough to do and write posts like the one "Law People" did should get another gig. They have no understanding of the pressures lawyers face. Or they have an easy practice. Overly-sensitive people who should never have entered law are going to crumble no matter what you teach them in law school.

The Law People post and the other like-minded suggestions are frighteningly out-to-lunch.

Posted by: Holden Oliver at July 13, 2010 02:47 PM

Well said. The more I think about "Law People", the more angry I get. What a twit post. And shame on them. Or her. Or him. Or whatever other morons have this truly BAD idea.

Law schools can't teach people to be strong, weak, or in between. All "inside jobs"--yes. Discuss it with your Mom, your shrink, your other damaged Gen-Y buds. It's not like we can waste resources on that, either. Hey, this is America--not Cuba. "Get the net".

Finally, why are we letting stone weenies into American law schools in the first place? Why would they even want to go? Is there a new Affirmative Action program for Lames, Looters and Tea Cups?

I think I'm turning Republican, again. Whoa.

Posted by: Hull at July 13, 2010 02:52 PM

Superman:Holden Oliver
Clark Kent:Dan Hull

Have you ever noticed that Holden and Dan never disagree?

Posted by: Harry Styron at July 13, 2010 08:45 PM

Not always. But it makes sense to Holden if he does ($). Holden, BTW, is a a Gen-X Republican and flirting with Libertarianism. I am a Boomer "Mountain Grove" (Missouri) Democrat--fourth generation. (Seriously.) HO doesn't know where southern Missouri begins and ends and would be offended to go there. A snob.

Posted by: Hull at July 13, 2010 09:46 PM

I hate to be difficult. No, really I do. But I read the Law People post and frankly have no idea what she's talking about. What is she proposing when she says:

Some day law schools will acknowledge that their mandate to educate lawyers includes educating them in how to ply their trade with satisfaction and in good health . . .

Are we talking about eliminating sugary sodas from their diet, adding daily 3 for 1 beer Happy Hours or finding them alternative careers where they can wear flip-flops to work? It strikes me that if law doesn't provide personal satisfaction, they can always switch from law school to the School of Rock. Aside from that, I haven't a clue what she's talking about.

Posted by: shg at July 14, 2010 01:04 PM

Yeah, I know. Reading the Muir post IS a bit like you died and went to a hybrid Kennedy School-Hallmark.

But a law professor from a noted school e-mailed us this morning and said this, in her defense:

"[L]aw schools do a piss poor job of preparing their students for the practice of law, and that might contribute to the shock beginning lawyers experience at the demands put upon them. But you're dead on....in your choice of the Teletubbies as the symbol of what she is calling for. The biggest problem is that there are a bunch of people who think the Teletubby approach would be a good one to heal what ails law school."

What files into our offices from law schools in last few years are the most Lost People you can imagine. Coddling is the problem--not the solution. I now really do wish the schools would revert to the Karl Llewellyn/Prof Kingsley beat-them-up approach, and at least tell students this:

"Good morning, campers. When you leave here in 3 years, it then just starts to get hard. You know, law practice is hard to learn; it is an honor to do it; yet it is always hard; clients are 24/7 the main event (they not just equipment or props); clients have very complex, stressful and unique challenges for you; and if you don't at least like stress, sell women's shoes."

Posted by: Hull at July 14, 2010 01:28 PM

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