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November 13, 2010
Season's Rules for Corporate Tools: Handwritten Thank-You Notes.
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St. Matthew prodded to write thank-you note (Caravaggio, 1602)
If you handwrite thank-you notes, you can always excel. You get "status" points. You can put on airs. No one will suspect that
(a) You're really from Newt County, Ohio,
(b) You attended Columbia Extension University,
(c) Your wife Candace worked for 12 years at Sandusky's Adult World; or
(d) You think "Flaubert" is a way to prepare food.
In case your Mother or Governess never told you, you're from Utah, or you were stoned all seven years at Choate, let us remind you to never thank anyone for something truly important--a meeting, referral or a dinner--with anything but a prompt handwritten thank-you note. No valid excuses exist for not doing it. Too few of us practice gratitude--in either business or our "other" lives--enough. Some say the practice of saying thanks is good for the soul. Others swear it's good for revenues, too. Even if you are still not convinced that thank-you notes are noticed and appreciated (they are), pretend that we know more than you (we do), and do it anyway (thank us later).
Many business people and some lawyers with the highest standards and taste, from flashy types who might not wear socks to board meetings, to show-tunes creeps who begin letters pretentiously--i.e.,"Enclosed kindly please find attached hereto previous to mine answering yours sent in due course as previously forthwith indicated under separate cover"--really do think that no written thank-you note means no class, as harsh and low-tech as that may sound.
They are more likely to forgive that you can't dress yourself--or that you're a hopelessly embarrassing white-collar poof who writes flitty I'm-a-lawyer-by-God confirming letters that would make Little Richard homophobic.
Purifying, or covering up, bad gene pools. If you're an American lawyer--there are too many of us, and recently too many Ferraris and Ford Fiestas trying to run together in the same firms have destroyed the old gene pool--chances are good you don't have any real class (natural or acquired) anyway. It's not like we're getting better or commanding much respect, except among ourselves. And it's very very easy now to become a lawyer in America. Here, however, is an area where you can always excel, get "status" points, and generally put on airs without anyone ever suspecting that: (a) you're from Newt County, Ohio, (b) you really attended Columbia Extension University, (c) your wife (now "Candace") worked for 12 years at Sandusky's AdultWorld, and (d) you both still think that Flaubert is a way to prepare food.
Typed thank-yous are okay--but handwrittens are better. Use good stationery. We suggest Crane's on the lower end, or something better, like stationery from Tiffany's, or a Tiffany-style knock-off, on the higher end. A "studio card", maybe. Just make it plain. Simple. Initials on it at most. If you get personalized stuff, have a return envelope address to a home or business--but without the business entity mentioned. Dude, it's personal. No props allowed. Leave Acme Law Firm or Big, Clumsy and Non-Responsive off of it.
If you get mentioned or "linked-to" on the Internet? However, "electronic thank-yous" by e-mails to express thanks for links, comments or mentions in posts or articles on the Internet--i.e., three different people link to your blog every day, you are working full time for clients, busy firing looter-style staff and associates, and writing op-ed pieces entitled "Summer 2010: NPDES Permitting in the American Midwest"--are totally okay.
Short, sweet, and press "send".
Blogging about you or your ideas is, of course, very nice--but it's not like they bought you dinner, or invited you up to Newport for the weekend. Besides, you'll always miss a few kudos thrown at you in the digital ether.
But what if you are trashed in the ether? A "reverse" thank-you? Sure, you may be insulted, purposely mis-paraphrased, misinterpreted, or just inadvertently misquoted. It happens. Remember, some bloggers and pseudo-journalists are (1) angry, (2) disorganized, or (3) essentially unemployed. And there are often good reasons for all three.
Three approaches:
First, ignore them. Who cares? You are busy.
Second, if you are dissed or insulted in cyberspace, and you are in the right mood, respond smartly with: "Wendell, Dude, if I were you--or someone remotely like you--I would not like me either."
Finally, and third, study the techniques of our friend Redford, a full-time trial lawyer and widely-read blogger who manages to juggle, keep at bay and often humiliate legions of aggressive and often anonymous fire-breathing "experts" without breaking a sweat.
Anyway, let's get back to manners. If you don't regularly thank people for links or mentions of you or your firm's blog or website, you are fouling your own nest.
Not thanking people in the blogosphere is (1) arrogant and (2) dumb. It adds to the notion that (3) bloggers--and not just lawyers--are insular, passive-aggressive lightweights lacking in people skills.
So develop some habits about all thank-yous for everything--and make handwritten the default position. If you don't, bad things will happen:
1. No one will give you any more business, or invite you to Nantucket.
2. People will say mean things about your dog, your wife, your girlfriend, or about all three. Worse, they trash you.
3. If you went to Brown, snide people will remind you and your friends that Brown used to be the safety school for the Ivies.
4. If you were at Duke, they'll re-float the completely untrue story that Duke exists only because Princeton had too much honor and class to accept Buck Duke's filthy tobacco money and re-name Princeton Duke.
5. If Princeton, well, they'll just say you were always kind of light in the Cole Haans, even type with a "lisp", and were once seen dancing downtown with "Little Sammy", both of you in full biker garb--so what can you expect?
You get the idea. So thank people in writing. Handwritten as a general rule. E-mail only for a cyber-mention.
Finally, if your site is so successful that your links, e-mails and comments are through the roof, hire someone else to do the thank-yous--written or electronic--for you.
(from past posts and a timely assist from Scott E. McPherson)
Posted by JD Hull at November 13, 2010 12:59 AM
Comments
As a somewhat silly aside, I really enjoy getting things in the mail that aren't bills or wedding invitations. I bet other people do as well and they appreciate the thought.
Posted by: Joe Marchelewski at November 12, 2010 04:56 PM
That's not silly, Joe. But what's left of the U.S. Mail should be reserved for the truly urgent, important, special and uplifting. Bills are okay. Maybe invitations, too. The Net has already got the ugly and dumb-downed covered.
Posted by: Hull at November 13, 2010 04:06 PM